Dear Annie 4/9 | The Spokesman-Overview

Editor’s observe: This column was initially printed in 2019.

Dear Annie: My sister is a 12 months youthful than me, 64, and I consider she has been mentally in poor health to some extent ever since a nasty divorce in her 20s. In my opinion, she has a persona dysfunction of some type, though it’s laborious to plug her signs into a selected kind. There are parts of obsessive-compulsive persona dysfunction (totally different from OCD) and narcissistic persona dysfunction. It has rather a lot to do with management, compulsiveness, stubbornness and absolute blamelessness, together with denying something is flawed together with her.

This has brought on her many issues, most lately being restricted in her capacity to see our mom and in addition to play piano for residents at my mother’s residential residing residence, one thing she cherished doing. I’ve gone by myself to see a psychological well being counselor for recommendation on easy methods to assist her, however since she denies having an issue and isn’t a risk to herself or others, there may be nothing to be achieved. I’ve been to a NAMI assembly, which is a household assist group, and that simply confirmed me different individuals are coping with issues a lot worse than we’re.

So, you’re type of a final resort. Do you will have recommendation on easy methods to assist somebody who doesn’t assume they need assistance and believes they’re completely proper and all people else is the reason for all their issues? Thanks upfront. – A Concerned Brother

Dear Concerned Brother: Your love and devotion to your sister is admirable, however in the long run it’s her life and expertise to dwell. Continue to assist and take heed to her patiently and with compassion as a brother somewhat than a psychologist.

Denying that one has an issue is a quite common response in psychological sickness instances. Your sister may very well be in denial and feeling ashamed. It is comprehensible that this entire state of affairs leaves you feeling powerless.

If the state of affairs deteriorates additional, I might hunt down one other psychological well being counselor who may need solutions for how one can get your sister into therapy.

Dear Annie: Mother’s Day and Father’s Day at all times current a dilemma for my household, and I hoped you and your readers might provide some recommendation. Unlike particular person birthdays, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have a good time a number of people on the identical day. As a child, my household spent the day visiting each units of grandparents, along with making an attempt to plan one thing particular for our mother or dad.

As our household grows, a few of us are actually mother and father ourselves and moreover have in-laws to additionally have a good time. Even cellphone calls are laborious to plan on these holidays, making an attempt to catch Mom or Dad at residence when they don’t seem to be already on the cellphone with one other sibling! How can we have a good time these two holidays with out all the effort? – Overwhelmed Daughter

Dear Overwhelmed Daughter: It sounds to me like you’re overwhelmed with an exquisite household. As your loved ones grows, sustaining your childhood custom of bodily celebrating together with your youngsters, your individual mom and father and mother-in-law or father-in-law may pose a problem. But that doesn’t imply you’ll be able to’t acknowledge them on this particular vacation. It may take just a little planning in your half, however a heartfelt letter or card is at all times a pleasant gesture. That method you don’t have to fret that the cellphone traces is likely to be tied up. If writing a observe isn’t your factor, you might at all times invite your in-laws or your mother and father over for a home-cooked meal on one other day. Celebrating isn’t concerning the precise day; it’s concerning the love you specific and present to your mother and pop.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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