Sports

Sideline chatter: Or you go together with an urn formed like a soccer helmet


The Dallas Cowboys coined the time period Hail Mary, and now they’re placing a special spin on the coffin nook.

Rabid followers of the group have one thing to die for — a customized casket decked out within the NFL group’s colours and iconic lone-star brand.

For a proud franchise that hasn’t received a Super Bowl since 1996, it’s only one extra letdown.

We’re No. 3!

Washington has simply been rated the third-rudest state by MoneyWise.com.

Hey, in case your group hadn’t made the MLB playoffs since 2001 in a spot the place it by no means stops raining, you’d be cranky too.

Extra Splash Brother

The Warriors allegedly banned Dawson Gurley — a Klay Thompson look-alike — after he walked previous 5 layers of safety guards on the Chase Center, made all of it the way in which to the courtroom and shot round for about 10 minutes earlier than Game 5 of the NBA Finals earlier than he was detected.

The Celtics solely want he may’ve caught round and performed within the precise recreation.

Ocean ahoy

Andrew Bedwell, a 48-year-old Englishman, plans to cross the Atlantic Ocean — 1,900 miles — subsequent May in a 3-foot, 3-inch vessel he constructed himself.

Our first response? He and his thought are slightly dinghy.

Off along with his hair!

Ever hear of getting the quick haircut — twice?

Angels supervisor Joe Maddon, attempting to alleviate the strain of a 13-game shedding streak, obtained a Mohawk to shock his gamers, however the group fired him earlier than he may present it to them.

Sultan of Squat

Yadier Molina caught a foul pop-up by the Pirates’ Ke’Bryan Hayes to interrupt the MLB all-time document along with his 14,865 putout as a catcher.

No phrase on whether or not the educated Cardinal followers gave him a squatting ovation.

Astros 2, Steelers 1

The Astros grew to become the primary group to throw two immaculate innings in a single recreation, thus making catcher Martin Maldonado the primary with two immaculate receptions.

Eat your coronary heart out, Franco Harris!

Macho mail

Muhammad Ali on a commemorative stamp? It’s means overdue.

As the ever-confident heavyweight champ, who died in 2016, as soon as mentioned: “I should be a postage stamp. That’s the only way I’ll ever get licked.”

Envelope, please

Bonehead of the yr? How about:

a) the group that gave a QB going through a attainable year-or-more suspension $230 million after buying and selling three first-round picks for him

b) the fan with a contemporary “Boston Celtics NBA 2022 world champions” tattoo on his higher arm

One if by land …

The subsequent 5 Army-Navy soccer recreation shall be performed in 5 totally different cities within the Northeast, it was introduced.

The Navy instantly cried foul, appropriately stating that the entire video games shall be performed on land.

Higher calling

Colts sturdy security Khari Willis abruptly retired from the NFL at age 26 to hitch the ministry.

Or, as Indy spin-doctors put it, he obtained a suggestion sheet from the Saints.

Talking the discuss

• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on Lou Angelos suing his mom and brother over possession of the Orioles: “Thanksgiving dinner at the Angelos residence ought to be a fun time for all.”

• Ethan Bird of Meridian, Mississippi’s WTOK-TV, noting the native 10-day forecast referred to as for temperatures starting from 95 to 99: “It’s looking a little bit like those Dallas Cowboys — peaking in the 90s.”

Left, proper, left, proper

Jurrangelo Cijntje, an ampidextrous high-school pitcher from Hialeah, Florida, and a Mississippi State commit, can attain 96 mph throwing right-handed and 92 left-handed.

Imagine the limitless machinations when a switch-hitter comes as much as bat.

Quote marks

• Storm star Sue Bird, 41, by way of Twitter, on being named to the WNBA’s Tenth-anniversary group 16 years in the past: “Forgot what it’s like to be one of the youngest in the group photo.”

• Tim Hunter of Everett’s KRKO Radio, on President Biden’s plans to go to Saudi Arabia subsequent month: “He’s now been banned from playing with the PGA.”

• Brad Botkins of CBSsports.com, on criticism of Steph Curry even after he received his fourth NBA title: “I saw a couple of tweets saying he’s still a ‘system player.’ He is the system!”

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on mixed-gender bobsleigh groups: “One female pilot with three men telling her how to drive.”

• Golf author Geoff Shackleford, on Dustin Johnson becoming a member of the upstart LIV Tour: “Guess the wedding was more expensive than we thought!”



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